spreading wings and leaving.

amazingly enough, only today have i realized what a significant difference there is between "leaving home because your life and school are across the world" and "moving across town because you no longer stand living with your parents".

at 24, i'm flying out of the nest for the first time and it's scary. i feel guilty for not being a bigger person that could manage to pull my mom out of this black hole she's fallen into. i feel like i'm giving up on family, on my past and the memories we once shared. now all i remember is the pain and frustration. and aggression. such a new emotion for me. i wonder if this step will end up helping anyone other than myself. or what if it will lead to events i will forever regret and carry in me? but i know that this is not the way to keep going forward. i hope that instead of making her think that her whole world has given up on her, i will shake her awake and help her snap out of it. if not....

i can't even finish that sentence.

fingers crossed.