For Mario.

‘We will depart momentarily.’

* Leaving the house with the sunrise.
* Going through the check-in towards my gate reminded me of one of those many Disney attractions we’ve been to this week.
* Raindrops on the plane window seemed to be exactly portraying my current mood.
* I almost threw up in the bathroom. Can't do this shit anymore.
* The woman sitting next to me praying while holding rosary gave me a Lifesaver and I wished it really did save my life.
* Damien Rice’s ‘Blower’s Daughter’ hit my mind while saying good-bye and so was now playing in my headphones.
* As I said yesterday: yes, I am independent and can take care of myself. But I'm also a big lazy ass. So having you around to help me with life was more convenient.
* There’s a little problem with the plane now and moreover, the Atlanta airport is closed for the rain. I'm mad. Because having known that, I’d have stayed longer.
* You said you liked our first kiss best. Well, if we talk about the worst one, then I think the last one wins.
* Getting on this plane at 7.10am this morning makes me feel like my uwc experience is now officially over. I tried to steal some more time as a cover for losing all my friends just a week ago, but I can't do that anymore. This is what’s left. And now I even lost you.
* ‘Well, we’ll see each other…’ - I guess it was easier to say good-bye that way. Innocent lies. But I thank you for them. As I thanked you for last week… But there’s actually much more to thank for. Although I was often wondering how you could still put up with me standing my moods, my dramas and everything else I was going through, you were always there. I couldn’t do anything else but remember just the good times. And those definitely outweigh all the bad ones I already forgot.
* ‘Hello sunshine’ written on my board always made me smile, but now being played on my iPod, it sounds somehow painful and very distant. It was our song. As much as the ‘Blower’s daughter’ was. As much as ‘I don’t want to miss a thing’.
* Can you believe I even took the wrong train when getting to my gate? The reminders of yesterday and our magical day in Magic kingdom are still around. And I can't make them go away.
* I know I should be grateful for everything we’ve been through and for all the great memories I have. For you loving me and for me falling in love with you. But right now it's just the same old bitterness. Because right now it makes my life more difficult.
* ‘Hang tight, we appreciate your patience.’, the flight attendant says in the microphone and I realize I don’t have any patience left. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible. Far away from the palm trees and humidity and perfectly green grass.
* I'm so stupid. As if to even increase the pain, I started reading the messages from people in my ‘yearbook’. I didn’t even get pass 3 pages. Couldn’t read through my tears anymore. I know I said I wouldn’t cry. I lied.
* Last night you said that you’d always be there. In my memories of funny movies upside down made to cheer me up. See, I don’t even remember what was wrong, all I remember is how you made it go away. Even last week at the airport you were creative and prepared a cartoon for me. One of its parts is on my desktop now. But I want more.
* There are so many things I feel like we didn’t have time to do. Talk more, watch more movies and you promised to show me what tattoo I should get.
* I keep thinking about you, wishing you were here to play with my hair, to hold my hand, to touch me. Seeing couples kissing brings tears to my eyes. The best part: the bathroom shelf and a little box saying ‘Prince Albert’. I'm speechless.

Miss you.